


I love you, Dean Winchester

by jumble_of_fandoms



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 10.14 coda, Angst, M/M, Mark of Cain, at least I got it in before the episode, yes i know i'm late
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 04:25:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3555932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumble_of_fandoms/pseuds/jumble_of_fandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What I would have liked to happen after 10.14.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I love you, Dean Winchester

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's so late! I have been swamped with school, but at least I got it in before the new episode tomorrow!

“Well,” Dean says, pushing away from the table. “I think I’m going to go sleep for four days now.”

“Sounds about right,” Sam replies, a pained smile on his face.

Cas watches, eyes squinting as Dean walks in his direction. He is standing in the doorway that leads down the hall and moves over slightly to allow Dean to pass. A heavy hand lands on his shoulder and he turns his head to look at Dean.

Dean catches his eyes briefly before moving past, hand landing again. “You coming?” he whispers, one last pat accentuating the question.

Cas gives a small nod before Dean walks away. He plans on joining him soon, but wants to talk to Sam first. He hears a door click shut before he calls out to Sam. “How is he?”

“Sam?” He asks again when he gets no response.

“He’s in trouble, Cas,” Sam finally replies, hands curled into fists in front of him.

Cas hangs his head. His own worries are now confirmed and he walks over to the younger brother. “We’ll figure this out, Sam.” He says softly placing a hand on his shoulder.

A few minutes later, Cas is standing in the hallway outside of Dean’s room, suddenly nervous to enter. One hand on the doorknob, he considers what it will mean for him to actually enter the room. Dean and he have been getting close recently, ever since Dean received the Mark. Not that they hadn’t always been close, but they had never been this close. Not close enough that Dean has ever invited him into his room. Finally mustering the courage, Cas turns the knob and pushes open the door, not knowing what he will find inside.

The room is dark, an endless void with the lights turned off. The light from the hallway brightens a small patch that allows Cas to see the edge of the bed with a curled mass on top of it. Closing the door slowly behind him, Cas walks over to the bed, eyes adjusting quickly to the dark. He removes his trench coat and his suit coat before sitting on the edge of the bed, placing them on the desk nearby.

“Dean?” He asks, voice sounding small.

“C-Cas,” Dean replies, voice breaking over his name.

He feels hands on his shirt, clutching at the material, and is pulled down on to the bed by the hunter. Arms wrap around him, holding him close as a face buries into his chest. His own arms wrap around the broken man, one cradling Dean’s head as he moves his fingers to his hair, softly stroking.

He doesn’t tell Dean it’s going to be ok. Doesn’t repeat that they will fix this, find a way to cure him, do their best to make him better. He knows that he and Sam have only really been saying that for their own benefit; that Dean just takes it with a pained smile that never reaches his eyes. It was never for him to hear so why should Cas tell him now when it is only the two of them.

Instead, he just holds the man close and feels the front of his shirt grow wet as Dean releases the emotions he has been holding back since the fight. Cas remembers the cuts on Dean’s face that he was pushed away from healing earlier, and he moves his hand from Dean’s hair to his cheek instead. He wills his stolen Grace to flow through him into the hunter, wills it to fix what it can, and his heart pangs as it is swallowed up by the ever hungry Mark: the one thing he wishes he could fix…

“Cas, no…” Dean croaks out, already feeling his face knit itself back together. Once the wounds are healed, Cas pulls the Grace back, instantly feeling his head grow light. The room seems to spin around him and he pants slightly, grateful for the darkness.

Dean starts to pull away from Cas, but Cas only holds him tighter.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Dean whispers.

“You were hurt.” Cas states matter-of-factly. “I don’t like seeing you hurt, especially when it is something I can heal.” He places his lips to Dean’s head, pressing softly, and feels Dean inhale sharply.

“Why are you still here?” Dean asks and Cas is unable to hold back the sigh that flows from his lips.

“We’ve talked about this Dean,” He replies, his voice tired and aching.

Knowing his reply won’t matter to Dean, he settles back against the pillows and feels Dean shift around his new position. When they are both done moving, Cas is on his back with Dean half draped over him.  He lets Dean get used to the new position as he takes time to gain his strength back after that burst of Grace using. It’s getting harder and harder, but Cas knows he cannot let Dean know this. He can’t put another fear in the hunter’s already overcrowded head.

“Why are you still here?” Dean asks again, voice breaking into Cas’s thoughts. “Why haven’t you just gone back to heaven, back to where you can be safe and whole?”

“Because it would mean leaving you behind.” Cas admits, and he hears the falter in Dean’s breath. It is a new response, one he has not yet used on Dean and smiles softly as it has the intended effect. “If I leave here, there is no guarantee I could ever come back, especially since Jimmy is long gone. This ve- my body would immediately start to decay and rot, and I would have to leave you behind.”

Cas reaches for Dean’s hair again and cards his fingers through it. “You don’t think you deserve to be saved, or loved, and you haven’t for as long as I have known you, Dean Winchester. The only problem is I do. And I will do everything I can to save you.” _And love you…_

Dean pulls away again, and Cas lets him this time, feeling the human sit up next to him in the bed. “I want you to be safe, to be happy.” Cas finally says as the silence between them stretches out.

“You’re dying…” Dean argues, but it dies on his lips. He already knows what Cas will say, so Cas stays silent. He listens to Dean open his mouth and try and figure out something else to say, some argument to come up with that will make sense. He feels Dean sigh and hears how worn and frayed the man is. Sitting up, he finds Dean’s shoulder with one hand, and the other soon lands on the opposite one. From there, he moves his hands up and cups Dean’s face in his own.

“I’ve tried my hardest to protect you ever since I pieced you back together,” Cas starts, voice filling the space between them. “I know I haven’t always done the right thing, but everything I did, I did because I felt I had to. Staying with you? It has never been that way. I stay with you because I _want_ to Dean. Not because you’re the “Righteous Man” or because of the plans Heaven has for you.” He feels Dean shifting beneath his hands, trying to move his head down and away from Cas, and Cas can see those soft green eyes shutting him out, darkening, pulling away.

He pulls Dean in closer, forcing the man to look at where his face is, even if he can’t really see him. “I am here because I want to be here. I am trying to help you because you deserve to be happy. I always come back to you because _I love you, Dean Winchester_.”

On his last words, his stolen Grace flows through him again, giving power to those words. Dean gasps as it courses through him and Cas leans in, placing the softest of kisses against Dean’s lips. Dean hesitates, but soon presses into the kiss, craving the affection, needing to reciprocate the feelings.

Cas soon pulls the Grace back, but his lips do not leave the hunters. The kisses turn feverish, as teeth clash and noses knock against each other in the dark. It isn’t long before they are both panting, pulling away from each other. Cas’s hands never leave the hunter’s face and he can feel Dean lean into them, nuzzling softly.

Soon after, they are both laying back on the bed again, arms tangled around each other. Cas again uses his Grace, reaching out for Dean, and soothes the worn and weary man to sleep. He takes away dreams, takes away the pain he can fix, and smiles as Dean releases a contented sigh.

Cas knows it may be awhile before Dean wakes up, but he doesn’t mind. Soft snores and a beating heart fill his ears as he lets himself relax. He feels himself start to slip into that dark realm of sleep. Part of his mind acknowledges that this should worry him, but he doesn’t care, only wanting to be close to his hunter.

He presses another soft kiss into the man’s hair before closing his eyes. He lets a small slip of his Grace slide through the two of them, only using it to repeat a small statement before finally drifting off, knowing that they can deal with whatever comes next another day:

_You deserve to be saved… I love you, Dean Winchester._

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated :3


End file.
